THE TIME VINCENT GALLO CALLED ME A PRICK

That time Vincent Gallo caught me bootlegging The Brown Bunny.

When I left film school, all my classmates seemed to land gigs—runners on sets at Shepperton, assistant editors in Soho, fetching coffee at Pinewood.

I did not.

I applied to every job I could find, got a few interviews, but nothing stuck. I kept wondering: How the hell were these guys pulling it off and securing all these industry jobs?

Instead, I ended up with a temp job at HMV’s head office in customer service over Christmas. My main task was answering at least 100 emails a day from people who couldn’t figure out their online orders.

But I found a hack. If I showed up 20 minutes early, I’d go straight to the security emails and hit resend password for every forgotten login. By 10 a.m. my quota was done, and I’d spend the rest of the shift browsing eBay for rare DVDs.

That year, The Brown Bunny had just caused a scandal at Cannes. Vincent Gallo’s name was all over the trades—bad reviews, glowing reviews public feuds. Naturally, I had to see it. But there was no UK release date in sight.

Then, one lunch break, I struck gold. A Japanese DVD import of The Brown Bunny was on sale. I hit Buy Now so fast I barely checked the price.

Weeks later, it arrived. I gathered my friends in my bedroom, turned off the lights, and we all sat down to witness the most talked-about indie film.

One friend couldn’t make it, so I ran the DVD through my VHS recorder and made him a copy. A few days later, another friend asked for one. Then another.

That’s when the hustle kicked in.

I started listing The Brown Bunny VHS copies on eBay. Yeah, straight-up bootlegs. But the demand was there—film nerds like me were dying to see this thing.

I put up two copies. Sold instantly.